Cut'n'Turkey
I want a congressional vote on a new non-binding resolution on Iraq. Resolved: that SOMEBODY SOMEWHERE tell us what OUR GOAL is.
You’ve got Republicans telling us not to “cut and run.” But wasn’t the “mission accomplished” years ago?
You’ve got Democrats trying to get out by the end of the year, leaving the need for some strong leader to take over the government. Some guy who can lay the law down so that everyone will have to listen up. Crack the whip. Anybody over there like that?
The problem is, it’s broken. We broke the country. Not that it was in all that hot shape to begin with. They’ve been fighting over there for over two millennia. That’s ten times longer than we’ve been a country, but we figure we can straighten them out. All we got to do is climb up on this rickety ladder here, reach up to that high shelf and…
Oops. Better get the glue. Lots of it.
They MUST have had a plan. They MUST have had at least one goal (which is more than the US have kicked in for the World Cup).
That’s right, a plan…
Step one – determine a sovereign nation is in such a state that it requires immediate and ugly overhauling. You know, something insidious, like capturing the citizens of another country and bringing them to your own to enslave them. That would require immediate military intervention by a foreign nation, such as, say, France.
Step two – invade the country. You would of course do this with a full complement of soldiers, something the generals like to call “Boots on the Ground.” And you would make sure your military was well equipped. And you would be careful not to celebrate too soon. The invaded nation, of course, would be HAPPY about it (because they didn’t like cotton shirts) and greet their French invaders with cheers and find stuff to name after them, like fried sticks of potatoes.
Step three – install a new government. Make sure it looks like your own. EVERYBODY wants to be like you. And do it at gunpoint. People love that. In the above "hypothetical" example, you would free the slaves, lock up anybody who disagrees, elect a Prime Minister, and force everybody else to agree to the government you required
Step four – hang around. And around. And around. Try not to get shot, though.
Step five – repeat.
You’ve got Republicans telling us not to “cut and run.” But wasn’t the “mission accomplished” years ago?
You’ve got Democrats trying to get out by the end of the year, leaving the need for some strong leader to take over the government. Some guy who can lay the law down so that everyone will have to listen up. Crack the whip. Anybody over there like that?
The problem is, it’s broken. We broke the country. Not that it was in all that hot shape to begin with. They’ve been fighting over there for over two millennia. That’s ten times longer than we’ve been a country, but we figure we can straighten them out. All we got to do is climb up on this rickety ladder here, reach up to that high shelf and…
Oops. Better get the glue. Lots of it.
They MUST have had a plan. They MUST have had at least one goal (which is more than the US have kicked in for the World Cup).
That’s right, a plan…
Step one – determine a sovereign nation is in such a state that it requires immediate and ugly overhauling. You know, something insidious, like capturing the citizens of another country and bringing them to your own to enslave them. That would require immediate military intervention by a foreign nation, such as, say, France.
Step two – invade the country. You would of course do this with a full complement of soldiers, something the generals like to call “Boots on the Ground.” And you would make sure your military was well equipped. And you would be careful not to celebrate too soon. The invaded nation, of course, would be HAPPY about it (because they didn’t like cotton shirts) and greet their French invaders with cheers and find stuff to name after them, like fried sticks of potatoes.
Step three – install a new government. Make sure it looks like your own. EVERYBODY wants to be like you. And do it at gunpoint. People love that. In the above "hypothetical" example, you would free the slaves, lock up anybody who disagrees, elect a Prime Minister, and force everybody else to agree to the government you required
Step four – hang around. And around. And around. Try not to get shot, though.
Step five – repeat.
posted by Mad Duck at 3:02 PM
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