Turkey Lurkers
Who's reading this? You are. Who else? Probably nobody. What if I wrote:
Osama Bin Laden.
Now who's reading this? Maybe somebody else. Maybe not right now, but perhaps a little program set off a little bell somewhere, and someone who works in Virginia will have to check it out. Probably not, though. Not for just writing Osama Bin Laden.
Praise Allah! A Jihad on George W. Bush. And his little dog, too.
Better? Someone checking this out now? Someone checking YOU out, too? Since you're reading this. Maybe you should look over your shoulder, just in case.
Free Hot Wet Naked Virgins.
There we go! Welcome everybody. Take a seat. Keep your pants on. Hope you notice the rest of the blog. Brad Tapplephone's got your names now. He's keeping a list and checking it twice.
Of course it'sillegal GOOD that the government taps our phones. We’ve got nothing to hide. Only terrorists have something to hide. We’re fine, upright citizens. We’re not going to let something like the CONSTITUTION OF THE UNITED STATES get in the way. You know, that thing our “president” keeps trying to change.
That’s right, it’s UNCONSTITIONAL to tap a US Cititzen’s phone without a warrant. But, you say, a warrant takes too long. By the time they get a warrant, the terrorist will have hung up the phone.
That’s absolutely true, and I as much as anyone understand things are a bit different now. (BTW – I said a bit. It’s a little scarier, yes, but have you really changed your life much? Are you covering your windows with black drapes and dousing the lights when the sun goes down? Have you started building a bomb shelter in the backyard? Are you teaching your kids to duck and cover?) I know life changes, but I’m talking basic things here. Things we learned in Junior High Civics.
Checks and Balances. Remember that? I don’t either, but it had something to do with preventing one branch of government acquiring too much power. There were three of them, weren’t there? Legislative, Executive and… and… Louie. Wait, no, that’s ducks. Judicial. That’s the other one.
Right now, they’re pretty balanced (we hope). I mean the “president” can’t just start a war on his own, can he? He has to ask the legislative branch. Of course, we haven’t had an “official” war since 1941.
Then, there’s those pesky Judicial guys. Judges. They’re the guys we put in charge of warrants. The Executive branch of the government has to convince them their cause of investigation is worthy. And those judges evaluate the situation and say yea or nay.
Bastards.
They keep making decisions that the people don’t want. Like that time we voted everyone in Utah has to pay everyone else in the US three dollars. They said that wasn’t “Legal.” This country is a democracy. If the people vote to set fire to Tom Cruise, we should plug in the coal starter right away.
But the Judicial also functions as oversight. They’re here to make sure the Executive branch doesn’t go wild with power. Maybe it’s not such a concern with such an honest upright citizen such as W in office, but imagine what might happen if Martin Sheen became president. I don’t mean that decent and wise President Bartlett. I’m talking about the crazy Martin Sheen that Christopher Walken had to put down before he launched all the nukes.
That Martin Sheen would tap all the phones (because there was no one to stop him), put whoever he didn’t like in Gitmo without a trial (because that’s apparently legal now, too), hook up a Delco Yellow Top to his or her privates, and dance the hoochie goochie around the metal chair. All nice and legal.
And all because we didn’t have the foresight to allow the Judicial Branch ACCESS to check out what kind of sick crazy perversions the Executive Branch was up to. You never know with those bastards. Next thing you know, the Legislative Branch will try to stop the cops from searching their offices just because they took a $90K in bribes.
So I’m all for capturing terrorists. I’m all for keeping Tony Soprano from building the Boston Tunnel. I’m all for nabbing crooked congressmen who’ve been ripping off the public for a few jet trips to Havana with Fredo Corleone. I just bet we can do it by letting two people in on it instead of one. Leaving me free to type things like
Anarchists Unite!!
Uh-oh. Someone’s knocking at the door. Gotta go.
Osama Bin Laden.
Now who's reading this? Maybe somebody else. Maybe not right now, but perhaps a little program set off a little bell somewhere, and someone who works in Virginia will have to check it out. Probably not, though. Not for just writing Osama Bin Laden.
Praise Allah! A Jihad on George W. Bush. And his little dog, too.
Better? Someone checking this out now? Someone checking YOU out, too? Since you're reading this. Maybe you should look over your shoulder, just in case.
Free Hot Wet Naked Virgins.
There we go! Welcome everybody. Take a seat. Keep your pants on. Hope you notice the rest of the blog. Brad Tapplephone's got your names now. He's keeping a list and checking it twice.
Of course it's
That’s right, it’s UNCONSTITIONAL to tap a US Cititzen’s phone without a warrant. But, you say, a warrant takes too long. By the time they get a warrant, the terrorist will have hung up the phone.
That’s absolutely true, and I as much as anyone understand things are a bit different now. (BTW – I said a bit. It’s a little scarier, yes, but have you really changed your life much? Are you covering your windows with black drapes and dousing the lights when the sun goes down? Have you started building a bomb shelter in the backyard? Are you teaching your kids to duck and cover?) I know life changes, but I’m talking basic things here. Things we learned in Junior High Civics.
Checks and Balances. Remember that? I don’t either, but it had something to do with preventing one branch of government acquiring too much power. There were three of them, weren’t there? Legislative, Executive and… and… Louie. Wait, no, that’s ducks. Judicial. That’s the other one.
Right now, they’re pretty balanced (we hope). I mean the “president” can’t just start a war on his own, can he? He has to ask the legislative branch. Of course, we haven’t had an “official” war since 1941.
Then, there’s those pesky Judicial guys. Judges. They’re the guys we put in charge of warrants. The Executive branch of the government has to convince them their cause of investigation is worthy. And those judges evaluate the situation and say yea or nay.
Bastards.
They keep making decisions that the people don’t want. Like that time we voted everyone in Utah has to pay everyone else in the US three dollars. They said that wasn’t “Legal.” This country is a democracy. If the people vote to set fire to Tom Cruise, we should plug in the coal starter right away.
But the Judicial also functions as oversight. They’re here to make sure the Executive branch doesn’t go wild with power. Maybe it’s not such a concern with such an honest upright citizen such as W in office, but imagine what might happen if Martin Sheen became president. I don’t mean that decent and wise President Bartlett. I’m talking about the crazy Martin Sheen that Christopher Walken had to put down before he launched all the nukes.
That Martin Sheen would tap all the phones (because there was no one to stop him), put whoever he didn’t like in Gitmo without a trial (because that’s apparently legal now, too), hook up a Delco Yellow Top to his or her privates, and dance the hoochie goochie around the metal chair. All nice and legal.
And all because we didn’t have the foresight to allow the Judicial Branch ACCESS to check out what kind of sick crazy perversions the Executive Branch was up to. You never know with those bastards. Next thing you know, the Legislative Branch will try to stop the cops from searching their offices just because they took a $90K in bribes.
So I’m all for capturing terrorists. I’m all for keeping Tony Soprano from building the Boston Tunnel. I’m all for nabbing crooked congressmen who’ve been ripping off the public for a few jet trips to Havana with Fredo Corleone. I just bet we can do it by letting two people in on it instead of one. Leaving me free to type things like
Anarchists Unite!!
Uh-oh. Someone’s knocking at the door. Gotta go.
posted by Mad Duck at 6:57 PM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home