Turkey on the Fence

I used to be against a border fence across the Mexican American border. Really, I was. Most of the immigrant/illegal immigrant struggle was racism, plain and simple. Anybody tell you anything different is either wrong or lying.

Taking our jobs? Nuts. They created jobs. Ten illegals working in a factory meant one foreman and one management position for fine upstanding US citizens. You take those illegals out of the factory and you think a bunch of Americans are going to take a minimum wage job sewing up stuffed Hilary Duff dolls for children or molding plastic cases for your iPods? No, they’re going to want a $60 an hour union contract, whereby the factory shuts down and moves to Taiwan. If you don’t let it move, it will just shut down anyway, because no one is going to pay $169.95 for a Hillary Duff doll.

Because they don’t speak English? Really? Give you a grammar test later today. If you pass, you get to stay.

Because they don’t pay taxes? What do you think that thing is at the end of a purchase, that little extra percent you have to pay, that sales… something? What’s that? Some kind of tax, as I recall. Oh, you mean INCOME TAX. You want to spend tens of billions of dollars to send them back because they don’t pay income tax. Wouldn’t it just be easier and more financially lucrative to legalize them all and COLLECT income tax? Remember, taxes come out of your paycheck BEFORE you cash it.

They use up our resources? Hardly. You think these folks want to come in under the spotlight where they can be found out and deported?

Dangerous? I once saw a letter to the editor questioning why the LA Times had not reported the immigration status some criminal that had recently been caught. I guess the idea here is that immigrants are coming over in droves to commit criminal acts. Maybe some of these guys are criminals. But I bet the VAST MAJORITY of crimes in the US are committed by US CITIZENS. And you worry about a liquor store hold-up when illegal acts by the CEO of AIG has caused YOUR savings, YOUR house value, YOUR 401k to dwindle to the size of bag of rotten walnuts. How come people aren’t writing to check out HIS immigration status? Is it because it’s OKAY to get robbed by Americans?

But now, things have changed. Immigrants are leaving, forced out by tighter immigration laws, green card sweeps, and – most of all – lack of jobs. That doll factory closed, after all. There’s a lot of work at the maquiladoras along the Mexican-American border, and even more at Ugly Bobby’s Cocaine and Rice distribution plant. And it’s easy to get back. Have you seen the traffic heading south of the border? It’s a freeway with no stop signs.

The real problem is that US Citizens will be soon following them. Lost your job at GM? There are openings at Volkswagon, Nissan, and Subaru factories in Mexico. They might need someone who can speak English and eat pizza. Same for the banks, hotels, and, yes, doll factories. That same doll factory shuttered up in Little Rock, Arkansas has now reopened in Poco Roca, Baja, and they could use an experienced foreman. So go, you dirty dryback. Only we’re going to build that fence, bigger than ever, just to keep you IN. You’ll have to pay a coyote just to smuggle you over.

But that’s okay. The Canadians will be filtering down pretty soon.