The Bad News Turkeys

This is my favorite time of year. (No, not the pre-Labor Day sale at Macy’s.) It’s Little League World Series time! And God bless ESPN for not only showing the series, but also the regionals leading up to the series. For my money, this is the best sporting event of the year.

First, you got a bunch of kids that haven’t quite learned the swagger, the noxious attitudes of adult athletes. It’ll come later, but for now, you’re pretty sure none of these kids are going to show up in a NYC court with a lawyer, a bullet in the leg, a gram of cocaine in the pocket and a busted hooker in the car. Sure, they’ve had their controversies, some cheating in the past, even a doping scandal, but you get the feeling it wasn’t so much the kids who were cheating, it was their parents or coaches or someone with a grown-up agenda.

Second, there’s no money involved. Oh yeah, I know ESPN is paying something for this, and so are the commercials, but seriously, watch a game. Every kid wants to be a superstar and doesn’t have one thought about how much his agent can screw the owners of the team. Also, there are no billboards, rolling signs, or anything trying to sell Pepsi, Farmer John Hot Dogs, or Hankook Tires. And tickets are free. FREE! As in, no cost to you. Zero. Okay, hot dogs are a dollar. So is a soda. You could buy over 50 hot dogs for what you pay for a pair of Red Sox cheap seats.

Third, there is no better on-field drama. That’s because these kids are fully involved. Sometimes I see that on the college level, but it’s definitely here. There’s a complete joy winning and a total wretchedness in losing. Yes, there’s crying in baseball, and it’s here.

Fourth, it’s a sweet and honest introduction to other cultures and manners. I love how the Taiwanese players bow to the umpires when they approach the plate. I remember when Japan won in 2001, the team ran out to centerfield to bow to the statue of Howard Lamade (he’s the guy they named the stadium after), after being erroneously told it was a baseball god (kinda mean and goofy, but somehow still a perfect moment). I remember being in grammar school and reading the story of the perfect game thrown by the star pitcher of the underdog 1957 Monterrey team from Mexico to win the championship. It’s still the only perfect game in series history.

Fifth, at some point during the series, some kid is going to make an amazing play. And we’re not just talking homerun here. We’re talking a rob-the-jack-at-the-wall kind of play, or a Brooks Robinson mad-wicked throw from foul territory at least one time-zone past third base to nail Bucky Speedrobin at first kind of play, or a Willie Mays over-the-shoulder leap-n-tumble kind of a play. The kind that makes you feel... immortal. The kind, if you’ve seen the original Bad News Bears, that Lupus makes, one that doesn’t win the game or is even all that athletic, but it’s the key to the film because winning isn’t really why we’re out there, it’s just being in the game that matters. Or as Coach Buttermaker said, “Listen, Lupus, you didn't come into this life just to sit around on a dugout bench, did ya? Now get your ass out there and do the best you can.”

And finally, it’s baseball. How can you go wrong?